The Great Mental Breakdown of 2013

I don’t know if there’s an official definition of what is a mental breakdown.  But I have a few instances that I think of breakdowns for me.  Maybe because beside breaking down, they were the straw that broke the camel’s back, and would spur me on to do something.  Not always healthy somethings, but something.  They’ve been things like bursting into tears while in the break room at lunch, around people who had never previously seen me do anything except smile (this was at an oooold job, before I learned how to be grumpy in public).  Two years ago, I stopped being able to go to work, and had to take a leave of absence.  And about three weeks ago, I have once again had to take a leave.

I just noticed all these examples involved work. There’s been other times, that only friends or family witnessed, and that didn’t visibly affect things at work.  But I don’t want to talk about those right now.
I do want to write about my experiences currently, though.  Partly because writing is how I process stuff.  Partly because I have friends and family who are concerned, and I figured if they want to learn more about what’s going on, they can check these posts out.  Partly because depression and anxiety don’t get talked about enough.  Not in a constructive way, at least.  There are so many misconceptions about depression and anxiety, things that kept me from seeking help until I was 30, and things which still make it hard to communicate what’s happening with me to others.

So I’m going to write things as I go along. And this may go on for a while, so a cut is in order.